Let’s face it; there hasn’t been much to laugh about since we flipped the calendar to 2020. We’re in the worst pandemic the world has seen in over a century, we’ve witnessed peaceful protests hijacked by looters and thugs, and our so-called ‘National Pastime’ is on the cusp of yet another potential strike.

But even in these difficult times, Americans have maintained their sense of humor in an attempt to keep their sanity.

As for that ‘National Pastime’ thing, Wednesday was one for the books. Shortly before noon, it was (very) widely reported on Twitter that MLB commissioner Rob Manfred had (finally) met with MLB Players Association chief Tony Clark face-to-face in an attempt to resolve the on-going labor dispute created by the COVID-19 pandemic. Nearly every so-called baseball expert weighed-in on the “leaked” tentative proposal, with some going so far as to say that it was a done deal (it isn’t).

However, what (apparently) is a done deal is that if there is a 2020 MLB season (and that’s a huge if), the Designated Hitter rule will now be utilized in both leagues; at least for the 2020 and 2021 seasons and presumably beyond, meaning, of course, that National League pitchers will no longer bat; something they have done for 151 years. (Can you imagine what Hall of Famer Don Drysdale – a career .186 hitting pitcher with 29 career home runs – would have said to this?).

Within minutes of this DH thing hitting social media, one-time Dodger and now retired MLB right-hander Dan Haren – known for his deadpan sense of humor and quick wit – posted this on Twitter:

The humor, of course, lies in the fact that Haren finished his 13-year MLB career with a 153-131 record and 3.75 ERA. In other words, the only way that the Monterey Park, CA native and 2001 second-round draft pick by the St. Louis Cardinals out of Pepperdine will get into the Hall of Fame is if he buys a ticket. (Come on, Dan, you’ve got to admit that was a little funny).

That being said, Haren did, in fact, have a four-hit game on April 20, 2010, while a member of the Arizona Diamondbacks against the St. Louis Cardinals (Oh, the irony) at Chase Field. He singled to center in the bottom of the second inning, singled to left in the third to drive in the go-ahead run, singled to center in the fifth, and singled to left in the bottom of the sixth. It was his first – and only – four-hit game and indeed was the last by a National League pitcher. He finished his career with a slash-line of (wait for it…) .059/.190/.059/.249. in 414 major league at-bats.

But wait, there’s more!

In his 414 major league at-bats, Haren slugged two home runs and drove in 39 runs.

Although Dan Haren’s pitching and hitting numbers may not be Hall of Fame-worthy, his sense of humor most certainly is.

Thanks, Dan, we needed that.

Play Ball!

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