There is a saying that is as old as time itself:

“‘You can paint a rock gold but it’s still a rock.”

Ok, that’s a slight variation of the original saying, but you get the point. And no matter how Dodgers manager Dave Roberts tries to spin it – and he has spun it a lot this season – right-hander Joe Kelly is still a rock, and he proved it once again with yet another complete meltdown in the Dodgers painful 5-3 loss to the Angels of Anaheim on Monday night at a sold out Angels Stadium.

There are some, perhaps even many, who still believe that the 31-year old Anaheim, CA native (oh the irony) and 2009 third round draft pick by the St. Louis Cardinals (out of UC Riverside) will somehow magically turn his disastrous 2019 season around, but that number is dwindling … and fast.

Fortunately for Kelly, among those who still believe that the rock is real gold is Dodgers president of baseball operations Andrew Friedman; and why wouldn’t he? He’s the guy who signed the beleaguered right-hander to a ridiculous three-year / $25 million contract (plus a club option for 2022 or a $4 million buyout) this past off-season after Kelly flat-out kicked his team’s butt during the 2018 World Series.

But despite Kelly’s growing list of bad outings that have led to his 1-3 record, team-worst 7.59 ERA, and three blown saves, Roberts continues to put him into a position to fail; and fail miserably he did on Monday night.

In the bottom of the eighth inning and undoubtedly in front of a slew of his family and friends, Kelly faced a total of seven Angels batters. And even though he did not allow a hit and eventually struck out the side, he walked three (one intentionally) and made two wild pitches, allowing two Angels runs to score. It was arguably the worst outing of the season, if not his career.

“Got myself in a little bit of a jam walking the first guy on four,” Kelly told reporters after the game, obviously trying to minimize his train wreck. “Change-up was a little off. Yanked one for the wild pitch. Just got to execute, I guess. It’s not that far off. Probably looks worse than it really is. Kind of a weird inning. Obviously, the command wasn’t there. Guess it’s harder to take if you don’t give yourself a chance. Got to get that first-pitch strike. It can’t get any more bizarre. I guess average for right now.”

A little bit of a jam? Not that far off? Looks worse that it really is? Kind of a weird inning? Command wasn’t there?

He was right about one thing – he was indeed “average for right now,” or at least par for the course.

And how did Roberts spin it this time, you ask?

“I felt confident Joe right there could execute pitches and it just didn’t work out,” Roberts said. “We’re going to need him, it’s just that plain and simple. Mechanical, emotional, mental – we’ve just got to tap into something and get him on track.

“You can see it, a guy that, in my opinion, has pretty good command, to have the misfires like that, that’s very uncharacteristic,” Roberts added. “You’re trying too hard, trying to be too perfect, overthrowing, whatever it is.”

Spun as only the spin doctor can spin it.

To his credit (if you choose to call it that), prior to Monday night’s disaster, Kelly was actually beginning to show signs of life. In his two previous appearances – on June 2 and June 8 – he faced a combined seven batters and struck out five of them, while allowing no runs or hits in his combined two innings pitched. On Monday, however, he faced seven batters and, as noted, walked three of them, having thrown 31 pitches of which 15 were for strikes … and two were wild.

Note to Dave Roberts and Andrew Friedman: It’s fool’s gold.

Play Ball!

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